In 2015 I was flying back to California to try and relax my thoughts from all the events happening in my life at that time. I had experienced some extreme highs which led to a great low in my psyche – a fun product of not sleeping for a few weeks. As I was looking out the window over San Francisco, I could see the water reflecting the grey clouds from above. In that time/space I began feeling a connection to what I was seeing and what I was feeling. I remember thinking, “man, I would love to see the sun right now…” followed by all of the troubles I was trying to take a break from.
As we climbed higher and higher, my feelings became more potent and almost overwhelming. Flying through the grey mist of the clouds early in the morning with heavy turbulence caused me frustration and a wanting to just cry out “Enough!”… but then it stopped, and I looked out the window – we had flown above the storm, above the clouds, and the sun was beaming not only straight through the glass, but also reflecting upon the no longer grey, rather, golden clouds below. In an instant my soul was warmed. My soul was comforted. And that’s when it hit me. The sun was there the whole time, I just didn’t allow myself to remember what it looked like. I also knew what happiness was – love, contentment, ambition, triumph – I just didn’t let myself remember.
I then took up my manuscript notepad, and began writing the melody that was resonating with me at that moment. I let myself go in a stream of consciousness just writing about all that came to my head – about my recently failed project with Crosswave, about my relationships that I hadn’t dealt with gracefully, about my feeling of absolute submergence and despair… and finally of what I could do to get out of it.
“You will soar if you just show your love.”